Wednesday, October 14, 2015

13 Posts Of Halloween 2015 #4: How To Survive In A Horror Movie

 13 Posts Of Halloween will be taking place all month here at The Story Goes... with 13 Halloween related posts!



How To Survive Your Own Horror Movie:


- DON"T RUN UPSTAIRS. Seriously. NEVER EVER run upstairs. Nothing good will come of it.

- DON'T read from an old creepy book that already says DO NOT READ or claims to summon demons/ghosts/zombies/whatever. WHY would you do this? Why?

- DO run away. Some psycho is after you? Don't just stay locked in your house. Get in your car and just drive. First, check that the psycho isn't in your car, though.

- NEVER trust a clown. Nothing good will come from it.

- If you're running from zombies, remember, you don't have to outrun the zombies, you just have to outrun your least favorite companion. Kick them, and run.

- Find a weapon, as soon as possible, even a baseball bat will help. And for gods sake, if this is a sequel, have boughten a freaking gun, please?

- Don't have sex. First of all, something is probably trying to kill you, why are you stopping to do it right now? Second, it NEVER ends well!

- If it's a serial killer TRUST NO ONE. Seriously, even that one person you can always trust? Definitely don't trust them.

- Just get OUT OF THE HOUSE. It does no good to hide there okay?

- NEVER go to a cabin in the woods, you're just asking to be murder killed.

- Also, never stop in a creepy looking town and definitely don't move there.

- Don't answer a strange call in the dark.

- Don't answer the door if you aren't expecting anyone.

- Make sure to research that creepy old house BEFORE you move in.

- Remember, you just have to survive until the credits. Be interesting enough for them to keep you for the sequel.


Anything to add? Would YOU survive your own horror movie? Personally, I'd cower behind my brothers until the credits rolled. Oh, and I'd more than likely be ugly crying the whole time. Any one want to hide in the corner with me?


6 comments:

  1. Bwhahahhah TOO funny! I love the one about outrunning your least favorite companion. Though I do worry that I would be the least favorite companion ;) I will definitely be ugly crying in the corner with you. Hopefully the killers do not like the taste of salty tears, because it is the only hope we have, my friend!

    OH and never, ever shower alone at night.
    Shannon @ It Starts At Midnight

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Shannon! Haha, I hadn't thought of being the least favorite companion! It's my brother's saying and it always mean his friend so I've never thought to worry about that.

      Yay! At least we wont be lonely! Maybe the killer will just take pity on us? Walk away like he never saw us?

      Delete
  2. I'd run. I'd run like hell. But honestly, I would probably die anyway if I was in a horror movie. It just feels like my luck. ;P Also, how do they always miss the killer in the backseat thing? It's so stupid. I always get so scared that I almost cry when watching Urban Legends though, I just hate that backseat scene. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, that's so sad but probably my luck too. Run, hide, doesn't matter. Maybe I'd be the last kill but I'd still be killed.

      I know right??? How do you not know someone's hiding in your car? And has no one in a horror movie ever seen a horror movie??? That is a very scary part of Urban Legends, so it's understandable. =)

      Delete
  3. Hahahha survive until the credits? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THERE ARE CREDITS? I would definitely not survive. Nope. not at all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I DON'T KNOW. I just assume you'll see them crawling past if you kill the killer???

      I'm not hopeful for the book blogging community so far... =)

      Delete